New year, new resolve
Time to get back on the horse
And sprint back ahead
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This book was written by Dr. Gary Chapman, and although he rubs me the wrong way personally, there is some really high quality information in this book. He talks about how there are different languages that people speak in regards to love. There are different things that make each individual feel loved, and they fall into 5 different buckets (in no particular order):
Touch - running your hands through their hair, kissing them on the cheek, making love
Words of affirmation - "I love you", "You look great today", "I'm so grateful for everything you do"
Acts of service - cooking dinner, mowing the lawn, doing the dishes
Gifts - bringing home flowers, getting tickets to a movie or sporting event, surprising them with a new toy
Quality time - sitting and talking, going to museums, going on walks
No one speaks exclusively one language and everyone appreciates each of these buckets to some degree. But you do have a primary, secondary, and so on and so forth.
The key to having a strong relationship isn't just finding someone else that speaks the same language as you, rather it's speaking to them in their primary language. You could have the same primary language as your SO, but fail to speak to them in that language and the relationship will suffer because of it. You need to discover your SO's primary language, and help them to understand your primary language so that you can converse in the most beneficial way.
If my primary language is Quality time, someone could buy me thousands of dollars worth of gifts, and I still won't feel as loved as if they spent an afternoon with me at the museum walking and talking and experiencing with me.
In my particular order:
Touch
Quality Time
Words of affirmation
Acts of service
Gifts
ARC
1.Touch, such a lil tramp
ReplyDeleteI wonder if these change greatly depending on where you are in your life? Ive read the book as well and to no surprise, ended up with almost exactly the same order you did.
ReplyDeleteI think at this time in our lives when potential is at its highest, we find ourselves looking for comfort and connection over items and favors. I wonder if in 50 years it changes much, or if gifts still mean less, a hug can change everything and quality time is still the best part of the day.